I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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