I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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