We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
