Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
