...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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