What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
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