We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
