I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
birth control should be required to get into college
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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