I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
