I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
im six kinds of drunk right now
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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