i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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