just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
two words: eviction party
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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