how can u be prego again
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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