i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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