this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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