I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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