Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize