Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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