HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
