puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize