dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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