I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
