It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
