Moan for me like Helen Keller
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
