so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize