So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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