Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize