Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Randomize
