i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
