marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
