Texts From Last Night

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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.

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  (952): i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor. http://tfl.nu/i20y
  Replies (26) Good night (2435) Bad night (549)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  false alarm. still invincible.

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  (305): false alarm. still invincible. http://tfl.nu/rmc6
  Replies (35) Good night (8376) Bad night (719)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.

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  (570): don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you. http://tfl.nu/ijol
  Replies (22) Good night (3752) Bad night (775)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning

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  (914): Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning http://tfl.nu/cata
  Replies (56) Good night (1089) Bad night (5136)
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  (805): View more from California

  they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate

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  (805): they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate http://tfl.nu/r0av
  Replies (22) Good night (9062) Bad night (1353)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.

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  (206): dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement. http://tfl.nu/2u7j
  Replies (29) Good night (2619) Bad night (4855)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.

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  (303): she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays. http://tfl.nu/t82v
  Replies (8) Good night (4918) Bad night (654)
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  (818): View more from California

  Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.

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  (818): Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some. http://tfl.nu/upkj
  Replies (5) Good night (1168) Bad night (3144)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk

  (813): View more from Florida

  Crosswalk actually

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  (941): Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk (813): Crosswalk actually http://tfl.nu/wtpi
  Replies (3) Good night (1451) Bad night (895)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.

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  (208): booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday. http://tfl.nu/jn9w
  Replies (4) Good night (2231) Bad night (652)
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  (212): View more from New York

  All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it

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  (212): All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it http://tfl.nu/vzev
  Replies (2) Good night (477) Bad night (1170)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment

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  (701): He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment http://tfl.nu/7mc6
  Replies (3) Good night (1782) Bad night (394)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  eyebrows regrow, your balls dont

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  (215): if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise. (609): eyebrows regrow, your balls dont http://tfl.nu/311u
  Replies (6) Good night (1061) Bad night (370)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.

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  (613): All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real. http://tfl.nu/5379
  Replies (10) Good night (2363) Bad night (399)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises

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  (410): I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises http://tfl.nu/f0t9
  Replies (3) Good night (624) Bad night (366)

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