I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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