If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.