So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.