there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.