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Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
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