Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Just took my morning after pill in the library
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
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I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....