Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?

(1-815): View more from Illinois

You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

i think my mom watched the whole time

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Just took my morning after pill in the library

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(713): View more from Texas

screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(248): View more from Michigan

They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.

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(224): View more from Illinois

I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".

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(402): View more from Nebraska

You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?

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(970): View more from Colorado

Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....

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