Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her

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  (401): so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night" (1-401): um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her http://tfl.nu/rdn4
  Replies (12) Good night (803) Bad night (2310)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?

  (845): View more from New York

  Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.

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  (302): Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one? (845): Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides. http://tfl.nu/6dzh
  Replies (125) Good night (4847) Bad night (681)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine

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  (913): took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine http://tfl.nu/51sq
  Replies (22) Good night (5397) Bad night (687)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm pregnant just thinking about him.

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  (412): I'm pregnant just thinking about him. http://tfl.nu/pqtq
  Replies (34) Good night (3281) Bad night (4293)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.

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  (402): I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew. http://tfl.nu/1b9c
  Replies (30) Good night (8054) Bad night (1018)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!

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  (405): The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes! http://tfl.nu/kv24
  Replies (15) Good night (2620) Bad night (586)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?

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  (828): Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight? http://tfl.nu/35kg
  Replies (10) Good night (744) Bad night (2615)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season

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  (860): I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season http://tfl.nu/sdcu
  Replies (6) Good night (1765) Bad night (773)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.

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  (575): I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend. http://tfl.nu/kkwb
  Replies (3) Good night (663) Bad night (1394)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?

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  (260): how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'? http://tfl.nu/cg25
  Replies (10) Good night (1528) Bad night (458)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.

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  (828): They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal. http://tfl.nu/hfw2
  Replies (6) Good night (1315) Bad night (528)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number

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  (870): He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number http://tfl.nu/tvhj
  Replies (7) Good night (485) Bad night (1883)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.

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  (651): The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is. http://tfl.nu/4fee
  Replies (23) Good night (1098) Bad night (576)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?

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  (250): He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me? http://tfl.nu/sqfj
  Replies (3) Good night (947) Bad night (409)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"

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  (828): Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole" http://tfl.nu/3q74
  Replies (21) Good night (585) Bad night (2019)

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