id be glad to
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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