Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
