she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
