whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
