I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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