what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
