Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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