Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
