Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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