I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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