The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
