He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
