you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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