I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
