at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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