so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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