I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
