I have demons in me.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
