Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
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