Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...

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  (502): if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings... http://tfl.nu/axpi
  Replies (16) Good night (3345) Bad night (569)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."

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  (901): i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight." http://tfl.nu/7ug8
  Replies (29) Good night (4226) Bad night (881)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...

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  (469): HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers... http://tfl.nu/21iq
  Replies (12) Good night (705) Bad night (2983)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  I see a marketing opportunity

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  (703): I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off! (1-703): I see a marketing opportunity http://tfl.nu/gn9o
  Replies (61) Good night (4521) Bad night (747)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?

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  (845): would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high? http://tfl.nu/v2jv
  Replies (29) Good night (4075) Bad night (722)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex

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  (570): the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex http://tfl.nu/q8xg
  Replies (28) Good night (4418) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game

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  (626): Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game http://tfl.nu/ygf5
  Replies (38) Good night (4678) Bad night (1532)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos

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  (215): i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos http://tfl.nu/9f8x
  Replies (11) Good night (5466) Bad night (849)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation

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  (704): someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation http://tfl.nu/fra5
  Replies (15) Good night (4276) Bad night (1146)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you

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  (973): I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you http://tfl.nu/07bs
  Replies (21) Good night (6618) Bad night (1358)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.

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  (832): And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/hp91
  Replies (12) Good night (2383) Bad night (1270)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim

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  (913): I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim http://tfl.nu/0xxd
  Replies (8) Good night (2589) Bad night (820)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.

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  (703): You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter. http://tfl.nu/b2tf
  Replies (4) Good night (2616) Bad night (802)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.

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  (905): sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night. http://tfl.nu/nv7h
  Replies (5) Good night (1024) Bad night (1326)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?

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  (561): Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club? http://tfl.nu/vdph
  Replies (10) Good night (899) Bad night (385)

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