Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?

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  (650): Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards? http://tfl.nu/fenr
  Replies (9) Good night (1965) Bad night (630)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  "omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"

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  (313): Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!! (1-313): "omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore" http://tfl.nu/6kn3
  Replies (20) Good night (768) Bad night (1505)
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  (585): View more from New York

  bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning

  (1-585): View more from New York

  oh god.. jail?

  (585): View more from New York

  better, on the catwalk of the auditorium

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  (585): bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning (1-585): oh god.. jail? (585): better, on the catwalk of the auditorium http://tfl.nu/ulvj
  Replies (22) Good night (8714) Bad night (704)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes

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  (405): i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes http://tfl.nu/6w2z
  Replies (10) Good night (5569) Bad night (1149)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???

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  (941): She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina??? http://tfl.nu/hnyt
  Replies (24) Good night (1239) Bad night (8050)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.

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  (617): I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again. http://tfl.nu/qw6q
  Replies (50) Good night (20218) Bad night (2350)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.

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  (502): New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday. http://tfl.nu/wghi
  Replies (6) Good night (2090) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?

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  (319): Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be? http://tfl.nu/gqtw
  Replies (13) Good night (785) Bad night (1251)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.

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  (316): If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong. http://tfl.nu/36w1
  Replies (3) Good night (1040) Bad night (1750)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!

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  (413): Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?! http://tfl.nu/jygw
  Replies (18) Good night (2058) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.

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  (602): I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets. http://tfl.nu/wv2q
  Replies (10) Good night (1352) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead

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  (302): It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead http://tfl.nu/d4qx
  Replies (3) Good night (966) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.

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  (914): Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody. http://tfl.nu/x371
  Replies (1) Good night (773) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now

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  (610): Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now http://tfl.nu/qopz
  Replies (9) Good night (605) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  He could stay over, if you'd just ask.

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"

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  (706): He could stay over, if you'd just ask. (912): Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not" http://tfl.nu/x11w
  Replies (11) Good night (1251) Bad night (375)

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