Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?

(313): View more from Michigan

Ya

(586): View more from Michigan

I used to kick so much ass

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(208): View more from Idaho

all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(508): View more from Massachusetts

He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time

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(847): View more from Illinois

I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing

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(613): View more from Ontario

MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.

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