How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
