I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
