I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
