He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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