I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
