I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
