Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
babies were throwing up all over the place
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
