So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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