I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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