i think my mom watched the whole time
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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