i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
